(reaction to an event)
So I've started hearing about this thing called 'Civil Rights'. Apparently the blacks are at it again :/.
I mean, we've stopped enslaving them! Shouldn't that be enough? What do they want, respect?? pffft. As if. We all know that people like me (white, male, rich) deserve the world. They're just living in my anti-black wonderland, they just don't know it yet!
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Me and my Pal McCarthy (Q4)
(who would your character be friends with?)
I made a new friend in this time period! Lovely fellow, goes by "Joseph McCarthy". The man said he had a list of all these communists (in the Senate, of all places!). He's a tad loud, but hey, whatever, because he's loud about the right subjects! We simply cannot tolerate communism in this country. Thank God for his list, right? We'll see it one day. I'm sure of it!
I made a new friend in this time period! Lovely fellow, goes by "Joseph McCarthy". The man said he had a list of all these communists (in the Senate, of all places!). He's a tad loud, but hey, whatever, because he's loud about the right subjects! We simply cannot tolerate communism in this country. Thank God for his list, right? We'll see it one day. I'm sure of it!
COUNTER CULTURE STINKS!! (Q4)
(Reaction to counter culture)
Oh my God guys, I just had the worst night of my LIFE.
So I was hanging out around downtown Boston. I think it was around the 1950's? Yeah, definitely the 1950's. Anyways, I was just sitting outside, eating a BLT at some diner with a frosty malt, when I see these shady characters hanging out across the street. Being the model citizen I am, I throw a hundred-dollar bill down by my half-eaten sandwich and chug the malt, pushing open the doors. I follow the two, both clothed in black with peculiar facial hair and hat choice. They lead me to this grimy little dive on the outside of town. Inside I'm assaulted by the smell of cheap coffee and cigarettes. Well, at least, cheap in my book. If they cost less than $20 then they're practically trash in my opinion.
Anyway, I'm standing there, when this woman steps up onto a little podium in the center of the room. The crowd goes silent, all looking up to her with expectation in her eyes.
It was at this moment when I realized that I was in a room full of communists and they were about to do a ritual.
"Life." Began the she-devil, obviously about to go into those 'poem' things I've heard warnings about.
I was already out the door.
Pretty scary, right? Like. How DARE they have different opinions from us normal people??!
Oh my God guys, I just had the worst night of my LIFE.
So I was hanging out around downtown Boston. I think it was around the 1950's? Yeah, definitely the 1950's. Anyways, I was just sitting outside, eating a BLT at some diner with a frosty malt, when I see these shady characters hanging out across the street. Being the model citizen I am, I throw a hundred-dollar bill down by my half-eaten sandwich and chug the malt, pushing open the doors. I follow the two, both clothed in black with peculiar facial hair and hat choice. They lead me to this grimy little dive on the outside of town. Inside I'm assaulted by the smell of cheap coffee and cigarettes. Well, at least, cheap in my book. If they cost less than $20 then they're practically trash in my opinion.
Anyway, I'm standing there, when this woman steps up onto a little podium in the center of the room. The crowd goes silent, all looking up to her with expectation in her eyes.
It was at this moment when I realized that I was in a room full of communists and they were about to do a ritual.
"Life." Began the she-devil, obviously about to go into those 'poem' things I've heard warnings about.
I was already out the door.
Pretty scary, right? Like. How DARE they have different opinions from us normal people??!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Met this Weirdo in the Slums (Q3)
(conversation between you and a character from your BAS paper)
So I recently found out that not only can I travel through time, but I can also jump dimensions! How else could I meet a man who bares such striking a resemblance to Jurgis from that book, The Jungle?
He approached me in the street, begging on his dirty palms, reaching for my jacket.
"Sir... some change, sir? Some work?"
I had just gotten that cleaned, I was NOT going to let this bum soil it.
"Come now, man! You're in America! Anything is possible. Have you tried, I don't know, NOT being poor?"
I continued about my day. I think Jurgis has not moved from the spot where I had left him.
So I recently found out that not only can I travel through time, but I can also jump dimensions! How else could I meet a man who bares such striking a resemblance to Jurgis from that book, The Jungle?
He approached me in the street, begging on his dirty palms, reaching for my jacket.
"Sir... some change, sir? Some work?"
I had just gotten that cleaned, I was NOT going to let this bum soil it.
"Come now, man! You're in America! Anything is possible. Have you tried, I don't know, NOT being poor?"
I continued about my day. I think Jurgis has not moved from the spot where I had left him.
Me and my Pal Herbie! (Q3)
(who would you be friends with?)
Just had a great day with my buddy Herbie Hoover! He had the honor (and pleasure) of showing me around 1930's America. I was quite fond of his little ''Hoovervilles". How quaint to see them run about with their tattered rags of clothes and empty pockets. Herbie did not seem too pleased when I referred to them as Hoovervilles, but when has someone's discomfort ever stopped me?
They say there's a great depression going on, but I feel pretty good about this place! If this is survival of the fittest, then I, a rich white man, am fit to survive!
Just had a great day with my buddy Herbie Hoover! He had the honor (and pleasure) of showing me around 1930's America. I was quite fond of his little ''Hoovervilles". How quaint to see them run about with their tattered rags of clothes and empty pockets. Herbie did not seem too pleased when I referred to them as Hoovervilles, but when has someone's discomfort ever stopped me?
They say there's a great depression going on, but I feel pretty good about this place! If this is survival of the fittest, then I, a rich white man, am fit to survive!
Huck Finn Convo With Mark Twain (Q3)
(What piece of art do you have in your home/what book do you have in your home?)
I recently came into possession of a copy of one of my favorite books ever!! A fan sent me a copy of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain with a note that said "Educate yourself" on it. After using the note as a bookmark, I made it through the delightful tale in record time (two months)! Of course, I simply had to call up the author with one of those 'telephone' thingies I stole from my brief romp in 1973. Here's the conversation log:
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mark Twain? This is Andrew Jackson."
"Go to Hell."
After an abrupt end to our call (I assume he yanked a cord loose. These primitive fools don't know up from down!) I instantly called him back.
"Mark Twain."
"Hi, it's Andrew again!"
"I thought I told you to go to Hell."
"Sorry, we may have bad connection, but it sounded like you just told me, former president Andre Jackson, time traveler, and practical God of Chaos at this point, to go to Hell."
"..."
"Are you sure you told me to-"
"Fine, fine, you've convinced me. We can talk."
"Splendid! Now, I've called you up for a very important reason. You should feel really proud of yourself young man! Your incredible book has managed to captivate me on every page, and I'm starting my second read-through just after I finish this call. Huckleberry is quite the-"
"-Wait a moment, what?"
"Is there an issue?"
"You read Huckleberry Finn?"
"Why of course I did! It was absolutely sides-splitting!"
"Ah. Yes. You think it's funny."
"Well, it is, isn't it? That dumb Jim and his master Huck; Such a charming story."
"I honestly don't know why I got my hopes up. Goodnight, Mr. Jackson."
I think it went quite well.
I recently came into possession of a copy of one of my favorite books ever!! A fan sent me a copy of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain with a note that said "Educate yourself" on it. After using the note as a bookmark, I made it through the delightful tale in record time (two months)! Of course, I simply had to call up the author with one of those 'telephone' thingies I stole from my brief romp in 1973. Here's the conversation log:
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mark Twain? This is Andrew Jackson."
"Go to Hell."
After an abrupt end to our call (I assume he yanked a cord loose. These primitive fools don't know up from down!) I instantly called him back.
"Mark Twain."
"Hi, it's Andrew again!"
"I thought I told you to go to Hell."
"Sorry, we may have bad connection, but it sounded like you just told me, former president Andre Jackson, time traveler, and practical God of Chaos at this point, to go to Hell."
"..."
"Are you sure you told me to-"
"Fine, fine, you've convinced me. We can talk."
"Splendid! Now, I've called you up for a very important reason. You should feel really proud of yourself young man! Your incredible book has managed to captivate me on every page, and I'm starting my second read-through just after I finish this call. Huckleberry is quite the-"
"-Wait a moment, what?"
"Is there an issue?"
"You read Huckleberry Finn?"
"Why of course I did! It was absolutely sides-splitting!"
"Ah. Yes. You think it's funny."
"Well, it is, isn't it? That dumb Jim and his master Huck; Such a charming story."
"I honestly don't know why I got my hopes up. Goodnight, Mr. Jackson."
I think it went quite well.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Indian Removal Act (Q2)
(reaction to an event)
Someone recently asked my opinion of the Indian Removal Act. Well, seeing as I did it, I love it! It's just great. We finally can have America all for the Americans! We deserve it! We're the only true Americans, and everyone who says "ooooooh we were here first stop killing us bluuuh" are just dumb babies. And we ALL know Americans are not dumb babies!
Someone recently asked my opinion of the Indian Removal Act. Well, seeing as I did it, I love it! It's just great. We finally can have America all for the Americans! We deserve it! We're the only true Americans, and everyone who says "ooooooh we were here first stop killing us bluuuh" are just dumb babies. And we ALL know Americans are not dumb babies!
Opinion on Georgie Dub's Farewell Address (Q2)
(quote you strongly disagree with)
Okay so I'm a bit ticked off right now because my main man Georgie Dub's just pulled the meanest fast one on all of us. As a nation!
Ladies and Gentleman, the wool has been pulled over our eyes. All this time, America was not the revolutionary fighting vigilante we thought it was! According the George Washington, America is supposed to 'not fight people' and 'mind our own business'. I know what you're thinking. OhHHHhh George is such a cool guy he'd never say that- WELL NAY I SAY TO YOU!! For I have proof!
"Sympathy for the favorite nation, facilitating the illusion of an imaginary common interest in cases where no real common interest exists, and infusing into one the enmities of the other, betrays the former into a participation in the quarrels and wars of the latter without adequate inducement or justification. "George says this blasphemous line in his farewell address, rendering everything this nation has done as useless! Now are we just going to sit around and take this? No! No I say, we shall fight back! Fight back every European country that dares stop us, and then some! You'll see... When I'm president, we'll have some real changes around here.
Okay so I'm a bit ticked off right now because my main man Georgie Dub's just pulled the meanest fast one on all of us. As a nation!
Ladies and Gentleman, the wool has been pulled over our eyes. All this time, America was not the revolutionary fighting vigilante we thought it was! According the George Washington, America is supposed to 'not fight people' and 'mind our own business'. I know what you're thinking. OhHHHhh George is such a cool guy he'd never say that- WELL NAY I SAY TO YOU!! For I have proof!
"Sympathy for the favorite nation, facilitating the illusion of an imaginary common interest in cases where no real common interest exists, and infusing into one the enmities of the other, betrays the former into a participation in the quarrels and wars of the latter without adequate inducement or justification. "George says this blasphemous line in his farewell address, rendering everything this nation has done as useless! Now are we just going to sit around and take this? No! No I say, we shall fight back! Fight back every European country that dares stop us, and then some! You'll see... When I'm president, we'll have some real changes around here.
A Letter Sent From Mister Andrew Jackson, President of the United States (Q2)
(what part of society are you in?)
Hey Rachel, sweetums, sugar-pie, apple of my eye!
So I'm thinking I'm going to be a little late to dinner tonight (which had better be cerviche with lime garnish! You know how I like it), as I am sooooo busy at work right now. I mean, sure, I'm pretty much lying around and throwing darts at a wall, trying to decide what country to attack next, but that is SUCH a strain on my wrist, you know. I'm practically a slave! Which reminds me, make the slaves work harder in the cotton fields, I need some new cotton pillows. Alas, the pain and burden of being an upper-class man!
Hey Rachel, sweetums, sugar-pie, apple of my eye!
So I'm thinking I'm going to be a little late to dinner tonight (which had better be cerviche with lime garnish! You know how I like it), as I am sooooo busy at work right now. I mean, sure, I'm pretty much lying around and throwing darts at a wall, trying to decide what country to attack next, but that is SUCH a strain on my wrist, you know. I'm practically a slave! Which reminds me, make the slaves work harder in the cotton fields, I need some new cotton pillows. Alas, the pain and burden of being an upper-class man!
Monday, June 6, 2016
Motto of the Day (Q1)
(motto)
Found this really cool graphic of my main man Patrick Henry's famous quote. He's a great guy, I would LOVE to meet him one day. But yeah, like Henry said, liberty rocks!!!! (as long as you're male, white and protestant. otherwise, you get no liberty. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them :) ).
Funny Story About Letter to the Reverend (Q1)
(critique of a literary article)
So earlier today some liberal tree-hugger sent me some letter that this black woman wrote to some Native American shaman or something. It was pretty well-written, I guess, but there wasn't much substance. I remember reading it while sipping my Freedom Tea™ and looking over this plantation i was visiting. It was pretty self-absorbed, and honestly I'm pretty sure it was some sort of fantasy-fiction story about an alternate universe where black people were actually people. Anyway, it was implying the ungodly notion that people should respect black people?? and black women?? Well, that's just preposterous, and I was telling my housemaid about it. She agreed of course, or else she would have been flayed. Anyway, as I continued watching my housemaid, I began to wonder if she could be this.. Phillis Wheatfield? Wheatharvest? Whatever. I mean, who knows, she might know how to read. It's doubtful, but possible.
In any case, I have an opening for a new housemaid. If anyone has a spare one, hit me up!
So earlier today some liberal tree-hugger sent me some letter that this black woman wrote to some Native American shaman or something. It was pretty well-written, I guess, but there wasn't much substance. I remember reading it while sipping my Freedom Tea™ and looking over this plantation i was visiting. It was pretty self-absorbed, and honestly I'm pretty sure it was some sort of fantasy-fiction story about an alternate universe where black people were actually people. Anyway, it was implying the ungodly notion that people should respect black people?? and black women?? Well, that's just preposterous, and I was telling my housemaid about it. She agreed of course, or else she would have been flayed. Anyway, as I continued watching my housemaid, I began to wonder if she could be this.. Phillis Wheatfield? Wheatharvest? Whatever. I mean, who knows, she might know how to read. It's doubtful, but possible.
In any case, I have an opening for a new housemaid. If anyone has a spare one, hit me up!
Bacon's Rebellion (Q1)
(reaction to an event)
Entry #1
Entry #1
So today I was part of the Bacon Rebellion! It was so fun! A bunch of people got together with some pitchforks and stuff and started stabbing Native Americans and some guy named Berkley. I didn't really know what was going on, but I'm down for anything involving violence against the Man and minorities! I think it had something to do with the fur trade, but whatever. I hear there's going to be another one in Maryland in a bit, so I'll be heading there next. 10/10 would recommend.
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